tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87932786265570526202023-12-06T07:27:37.084-08:00bytheway-ruminations...bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-21790346193535365052023-12-05T21:35:00.000-08:002023-12-05T21:37:36.784-08:00We got to be using our critical thinking skills effectively<p> </p><p><br /></p><p>Had an interaction with this theatre person who also writes some interesting shayari. One statement that he made about himself was how Bolliwood was a major influence upon his mind in his growing up years. How he grew up internalising the flimsy superficial values that are absorbed from there. My mind quickly connected this to an interaction with another so called intellectual who had the honesty to admit that his world view was formed by the movies of his generation, which is at least 3.5 decades behind! Wasn't this data enough for me to come to deduce that we as a society are largely leading orphaned existances: for our own families have failed us to be raised with a mindset that has a standing of its own and thus can sift authentic from the trash.</p><p>Yesterday post watching this movie 'Animal', i was aghast that stuff like this is not only just being churned out, but is being consumed with a voracious appetite!! The absolutely baseless mindless violence that has been given a heroic status, the comedy that was nothing but crass; the narrative technique that was somehow managed as madly as possible. </p><p>Actors with a lot of potential should have the integrity to resist being a part of such atrocious cinema! I was super annoyed with Ranbir kapoor! I expect so much better from him! Even the way the love has flowered out between him and his wife-to-be in the movie was totally pathetic! If a man was to qualify himself in the eyes of a woman with stuff like this, then I wonder if God too could save the entire feminine race! Ok, she leaves him in the end, but the very reasons of choosing a man like him in the first place is what i am raising a question at. "you have a wide pelvis" says the hero to the heroine, only to clarify that she will bear good offsprings, effortlessly delivering them!" This is a reason enough for her to fall totally head over heals in love with him. Whatever else was offered to woo her was is so flimsy as a means to reinforce him as husband material, that it is all so bewildering to imagine we as a society are allowing ourselves such junk! </p><p>Why should I have such a strong opinion!?" "its only just a movie! You are supposed to see it all with putting your head elsewhere; or not put too much head to it." Wish I could convince myself with arguments like these! But the fact that there's thousands and millions in this country who are so impressionable and take away all this crap to internalize! We are not just allowing, but ensuring that we are nurturing our youth with the most contaminated world views and eventually creating a world that could be a ticking time bomb. </p><p>Our silence could be suicidal! </p><p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-56864194881772988992019-12-19T19:53:00.000-08:002019-12-20T01:11:02.624-08:00Sequel to 'Drop your Guards'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Through her re ignition into Vipassanna meditation, she definitely was awakened to the fact that if there is pain or suffering in life, the cause of experiencing the misery was all within. Was difficult for her to come to terms with this as an acceptable realization, but arrive she did!<br />
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It is the giving in to the sensation that perceives the pain that creates the chain reaction of aversion or craving that entangles us into a perennial cycle of pain and ephemeral pleasure. But the act of pure observation enables a being to float upwards in water just as effortlessly as when he loses his life than when he is feverishly trying to save himself with his arms and legs flailing about...<br />
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More than anybody else</div>
It is oneself,<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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one is to keep the guards intact against<o:p></o:p></div>
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with the undesired waiting to jump on, <o:p></o:p></div>
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And the coveted forever evading.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The first phase of life<o:p></o:p></div>
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The cause for pain was outside…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Completely out there.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Time passed on and<o:p></o:p></div>
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brought the cause closer… <o:p></o:p></div>
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at least half, within oneself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Now as the lights were turned on,<o:p></o:p></div>
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breaking one open from the cocoon of sleep,<o:p></o:p></div>
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brought the cause completely within.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For the guards inside, when vigilant <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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knew, the moment the thieves enter<o:p></o:p></div>
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and no way can the the elements sustain <o:p></o:p></div>
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when the housekeeper is ready <o:p></o:p></div>
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to take them on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He cannot afford to doze off now...<o:p></o:p></div>
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the remnants of the drowsiness<o:p></o:p></div>
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Keep trying to overpower <o:p></o:p></div>
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That’s where the sleep is <o:p></o:p></div>
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to be rubbed off the eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-68694739996844386852015-09-06T09:00:00.002-07:002016-10-02T02:12:31.550-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-2640909748483613292015-09-06T09:00:00.001-07:002016-10-02T02:12:03.467-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-23777656895632374662015-09-06T09:00:00.000-07:002016-10-02T02:12:28.352-07:00Life:the play of light and shadow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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What an eventful day that was! Out on a holiday, we were my brother's family of four, my parents and me with my two daughters. In all we were nine people.The beach named Alibagh on our way back to his house in Mumbai was the milestone that was to be explored in a couple of hours before reaching home. It did not look as picture perfect as one is wont to expect from the idea of a beach. The sands looked a little unwelcoming, almost as if resentful of having to host a group of enthusiastic tourists. Or I was perhaps made to come back with this impression due to the conspiracy they were going to be a part of, against us: the elements of nature to which the sands could not have been a subdued spectator! Or so i assume!<br />
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That vast expanse of that sea stretching far into the horizon spreading and fusing into the distant sky's edge, fading out from the capacity of the normal human vision. It never fails to inspire awe in me but for that ruthless erasing by means of the familiar curiosity with a stale bit of knowledge, of the Earth being a round ball! So that edge is the last visible part of the receding round structure that creates that amazing semblance of the charitable flat surface!<br />
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Having left out footwear in the car behind, we were on to wading in the very stretched out shallow beach to the fort stationed upon an island just about five hundred meters away. There were very few souls around on that secluded beach which though was sprinkled with the local flavor of the adjacent populated areas, yet had an unusual sparse presence of people. One lonely hoardings around the beach had something written in Marathi language, thus leaving us ignorant of whatever significant or not so, put up there for the perusal of the passing by population. I only faintly recall that their was perhaps an old style horse buggi type of a ride available on the beach, along with almost a very small number of local folks visible.<br />
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Registering all that cursorily we were excitedly on our mission to be heading to our cute palace of a fort lodged fascinatingly upon that island surrounded with water, yet all so shallow that we managed to reach it within roughly fifteen minutes. It must have been an interesting walk while our feet were lodging and scavenger like finding a safe enough foothold upon the invisible surface beneath. There were some nasty surprises awaiting as my mother suddenly happened to step upon something razor sharp, that slashed her right toe ruthlessly inviting a sloshy and angry outburst of blood expressing its disapproval aggressively at that reception! It seemed inconsolably persistent in its complaint!! We were pained to see mum in that state. Having managed to tie her wound with a handkerchief that Papa was carrying , we moved upon the topmost part of the fort.They were evidently dilapidated remains of a palace of a once upon a time flourishing king perhaps. Who knows? We were more keen on sitting down with our huge tiffin and on satisfying our starving stomachs while enjoying the feel of dining at a place as exotic as that!<br />
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While we had just about been only half way through our food, I heard this strange unfamiliar siren like sound coming from the beach from where we had started. To my brother it rung a familiar bell! He categorically demanded that we pack up asap and start moving back as the sea was announced to now going to revive its tide ! Meaning it was going to be on a high tide, and not the shallow depth with which we had initially interacted. I now saw how the unusual extended stretch of the beach had a strangeness to it unfamiliar. We packed up in five minutes and began our walk back to the beach. Mum's foot was in bad pain and nevertheless she had to somehow manage.Careful to walk slow to prevent our feet from meeting similar unwelcome lancinating rocky pieces who seemed to be inhabiting that area in hideous numbers, we may have lost some precious time! Or so we realized, when within just about less then half the distance accomplished we were already more than knee deep in the water! The levels were rising!! We had to make it fast! But in the anxiety that was mounting with every advancing step, we were taking the distance that seemed shorter to the beach but as it turned out was deeper and now we were waist length immersed in those threateningly rising waters! <br />
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My brother had his five year old daughter by now safely lodged upon his shoulders astride. And my brave bhabhi had the twin son sitting on the same safty zone. My two daughters were holding my hands walking on either side almost on the verge of tears.My parents were holding on to one another by now with utterances as if of the final moments of our lives, for now the water was reaching our chest level!! Mom being the shortest and my younger one the same height that time were the deepest in the menacing waters! We didn't know what to do! We could not have helped ourselves from contemplating the state of my husband being informed about our loss like this! That too after a considerable gap of time, for who would have informed him where we had disappeared!<br />
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It was sure that we could not have sustained another 5 mins in that vertical daring momentum that the waters had challenged us with and made us haplessly hoping for mercy from quarters unknown! the fear in our hearts was mounting up.The conflict between the fact of what we were facing and wonder cropping from the deep seated sense that nothing was going to be lost and we were going to make it, was strong. I could see a strange revival of deep love that I had rarely seen between my ever bickering parents. A sense of loss for my husband, impending.<br />
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The distance was still an intimidating one and impossible now for our petty feet that were creating craters wherever they placed themselves! People on the beach who had swelled up slightly in number were standing and watching us aghast at the plight we were reduced to wading between life and death. Having been reduced to a spectacular parade in front of them, they had now begun shouting and screaming to pep us up and to speed up, only if there were the possibility!<br />
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Herein appeared the horse buggy wala with one more person to assist him suddenly rushing to our rescue! Were we going to heave a sigh of relief? Mumma and the kids were made to climb followed by Papa, me and bhabhi and then my bro! But Lo! The bugghi went deeper into the sands refusing to budge! For once we were blank but the next instant jumped my bhai, his wife and I who could not have remained inside in spite of their appeals. The wheels lifted out of the stuck sandy bed, and courageously pushed strong enough, to enable the light of the day finally beaming upon the faces of us all, out of those ravenous waters!! Or rather out of those kind waters who were just having some innocent fun toying with the little playthings?<br />
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Did we actually make it!! Were we actually so completely alive this moment, unlike the moment before when we were so thoroughly surrendered to our fate mocking at our petty efforts!! What a play of light and shadow by the naughty clouds was the taste of that slice of life, the memory of which still relives with the excitement of visiting the mysterious! The same moment could have meant annihilation...and here we were alive and ticking...strange feeling ...confounding explanation!</div>
bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-1339694646854350412015-08-18T09:19:00.001-07:002015-08-18T09:28:00.420-07:00that room of mine has so many stories....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A room of my own is perhaps a gift, the value of which I didn't realize till I talked to a recent and a very accomplished friend of mine who told me that she did not have the luxury of her own space during her formative childhood years. Just like we undermine so many other things that we take for granted that we are awarded without ourselves making any effort.<br />
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Oh how I felt an empathetic gush of emotion towards her when she divulged this fact, for the closeness that I feel with her. She belongs to another full fledged space for herself. Coming to the recollected vision of my favorite space, my room: the first memory that comes to me is that of the vast open sky over the terrace space that led to my very own small yet large enough territory. The sky space was also available through a window as large as a door posted in my room. It was securely partially grilled for preventive measures while allowing the upper part thoroughly free to connect to the open area outside. I remember standing there more often than not drinking from the city scape scenes outside. There were sights and sounds that greeted innocent visions now and then popping up sensational surprises. The most entertaining of the scenes were enacted by the dramatis personae I'd like you to make an attempt to guess.<br />
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Without unnecessary delay I must whisper in your ears that they were none other than troops of monkeys that harmoniously co existed with the humans in those traditional residential areas adjacent to the locally flavored bazaars. Oh what antics they would award us with every now and then! And for all the harmony that coexisted between the two species, there were only these very frequent visitations by their shrewdly demanding blackmailing herds. All that they would very politely do was just to snatch away the clothes that would gullibly be drying up upon the unsuspecting clotheslines! And if the poor owners weren't buoyant and quick witted enough, before they would realize the clothes would be meeting a terribly mournful fate of being turned to tatters within as much as the blink of an eye! The simians would generally nevertheless end up being rewarded with rotis or any thing for that matter temptingly edible that the owners could fish out as instantly as possible! And Lo! The clothes would mostly be parted with and dropped back while you would be looking on with utmost hope flickering through its last remnants towards any life still remaining in that outfit!!<br />
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On one instance I recall my mother bravely snatching back a very expensive shirt of my father that would otherwise have met with the same ruinous misfortune! It was about to be dying a premature death at the hands of a ravenous female monkey who knew howto get her job done. The joy of that victory is still potent enough to bring back a smile of a puffed up chest at the recollection of a warrior mom!!<br />
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One more very hilarious event that I was lucky enough to be an inadvertent spectator to was when i saw a child of about 11 or 12 years mishandled rather unceremoniously by a senior patriarch of the clan. I was just as usual ruminatively posted over the huge and expansive window of my very own room, when all of a sudden i accost this very unusual spectacle! He, the graybeard must as I assume now, had been ill treated by his wife, or perhaps his boss, oh who know's what..was definitely in a bad mental demeanor. Thus he naturally found his frustration venting itself out upon this boy so strangely! All that the poor ape did was catch hold of the boy's hair with both his hands while shaking his head to his utmost oscillatory capacity before he decided to spare him. I could almost pinch myself back to senses, or wildly rub my eyes to believe what i had just seen. It was not the normal way the aggression of monkeys was known to have expressed itself. There were serious monkey bite instances often heard. But this was a mild treat in comparison. The little boy must have been as zapped as i was just viewing the scene from my far off window!<br />
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There are numerous memories that are tumbling unstoppable as I have taken a willful dive into that lovely past, that are endearingly related to that loving, cozy, pampering, motherly room of mine. So I cannot help but promise to come back with many more sensational one's that are waiting to take off from the precipice of those nostalgic branches.<br />
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Wistfully Yours,<br />
Bhoomika<br />
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bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-80962989076562649602015-08-15T02:06:00.001-07:002015-08-15T03:23:24.469-07:00All is Well That Ends well...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That day could have been the last one of my life, without whispering
any such premonitions into my innocent ears! The day of one of my ultimate
infantile adventures, which for all you may guess could be pedestrian from the
point of view of veterans. Actually it was something that I glamorised within
the heart of my hearts to venture into. I had after all heard of many, every year
crossing The English Channel! If not as soaring, I could do something as simple
as crossing that little stretch of the backwaters which happened to be right
behind the resort that we were staying in at Kerela. And that was it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kerala is one of the most beautiful places on earth. It is
blessed with high mountains, beautiful coastlines, dense rainforest, aromatic
tea, and coffee and spice plantations. The cultural heritage of Kerala goes
back thousands of years, but one aspect of Kerala that I liked most during my
trip was the backwaters in there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The thought germinated into a full-fledged, well-conceived fanciful
plan and was now at the verge of taking off. The authorities back in the resort
had given us a clear green signal in favour of the little adventure, adding to
my motivation with the bit of information of lots of foreigners doing it there.
Sanjay, my very responsible husband decided to take care of my little one in
his arms while himself lodged in a small boat being rowed parallel with me all
the way to the other end. The plan was that we shall together be reaching the
bank on the other side which was actually an isthmus separating the river on
our side and no less than the magnanimous Arabian Sea on the other! What could
have been a more mouth-watering idea than to be undertaking a project so
miniscule and yet so mighty as to venture into the river waters, to be exact,
the famous back waters of Kerala! From a macho swimming background in a pool
maximum of 50 mtrs to a meagre river stretch of at least 500mtrs joining into
the enormous Ocean, wasn’t such a big thing, was it? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">We started early, assuming the feat shall be through in an hour,
since like I said, the stretch didn’t seem so uphill. And there I was, wading
in those back waters of an almost welcoming lagoon. A lagoon, just for
reminder’s sake (I didn’t say you almost forgot your basic geography) is, a
shallow body of water separated from a larger body of water by barrier islands or reefs. Yes! It seemed that this almost still body of water was
going to assist me in reaching my destination within no time. But once having been
commenced it was already beginning to give me some jitters that entailed these
tingling sensations resulting from brushing against long sea weeds or for all I
could guess, unidentified sea creatures. No, no!! No psudo attempts to rake up
sensations already. There weren’t any sharks or crocks lurking in those non
transparent waters so to speak as confirmed by the resort people. Yet anything
even far smaller was enough to trigger some goose bumps, in spite of my brave
attempts at overlooking them. Thank fully I was safe as far as any such
dreadful possibilities were concerned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Having started in my free style stroke, to prevent exhaustion from
taking over I found myself switching over to the more relaxing back stroke sooner
than later. But something unusual was beginning to happen. I noticed my
husband’s boat drifting away from me instead of maintaining the parallel track
it was meant to. I was clueless. My mind however did not intensify the inquiry
in that direction. I was more or less still at ease dealing with the here and
now of managing through those shallow waters that I realised were much
shallower than I could possibly imagine. They were as I understood later a
proper coral inhabited area. But the fact of their boat mysteriously distancing
itself from me did not become my boiling query, which by all means should have.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I was still lying with my back upon the cushy waters managing my
distance with mild leg movement, that all at once I noticed my hubby wildly
gesticulating something at me. I was bewildered at that body language. My ears
that had all this while been immersed in the water jerked themselves out with
my head becoming erect to gather some meaning out of all that confusion. And I
instantly understood that I was being commanded by him to do something that was
imperative. I could faintly gather him instructing me to another direction,
away from where I was heading. I have thankfully been an obedient partner at
times, and fortunately so in instances like this one. I followed suit and I saw
a host of local fishermen gathered there on the bank vehemently conveying me to
be out of the waters while simultaneously beckoning me towards them. I found
myself instinctively compliant. And whoa! Here I was pulled out and now standing
on my two feet being given the facts with a dash of a hype deservedly awarded
to the possibility I could have rolled into. I was heedless towards actually
being siphoned into the ocean with the outward flowing backwaters! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Really! But how come? They divulged something that we should have
been informed by the resort authorities in advance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The night before, due to heavy downpour the backwaters were on a high
tide. And the current was very strong.
Now I could see the pieces of the jigsaw making some sense…No wonder I
was sweeping towards another direction. Because it was the current that was
pulling me!! So while Sanjay’s boatman was taking the boat in the intended
direction I was headed towards another. And it would have been a matter of a
couple of more moments before it would have put me in the very mouth of the
ocean becoming a tiny morsel to it. Its mighty suction would have made it impossible
to be pulled back from as confirmed by the experienced fishermen who looked so
alarmed at the prospect of somebody getting into it in front of them. Phew!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Safe and sound, I can propound Shakespeare’s “All’s well that ends
well”, without of course not overlooking the role that fortune plays in our
lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-9874905260000497902015-08-15T01:53:00.001-07:002015-08-18T09:29:00.682-07:00one of my favorite childhood places...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 15.75pt;">Here rang the lunch bell in my school, and there we would be marching
enthusiastically towards our generally visited place. Away, “far from the
madding crowd”, ha! Interestingly impervious to inviting one and all…a secluded
spot in the midst of a green thicket adjoining a highly coveted swimming pool
that lay deserted and empty. Those years were spent craving to get into that
irresistible reservoir. Though as good as sterile for its hapless </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">water less</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 15.75pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">ambiance</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 15.75pt;">, its existence seemed </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">insatiate</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 15.75pt;">, for this was all it called for. All these put together, had as though those low frequency calls as made by the elephants inaudible to the
general ears…perhaps. For I found a unique </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">fulfillment</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 15.75pt;"> in that locale, and was never
too habituated to it, to have it drone monotony.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">It was upon an elevated pedestal like structure i.e. towering slightly higher
than the rest of the vast expanse of the landscape. A landscape that
constituted the seeming endlessly green football field beyond which lay
residences outside the lilting and trusting low rising boundary walls. They
really were as I imagine such innocent walls, to the world we now live in,
wherein that height would be a mockery to the idea of safety …This pool however
had a high wall surrounding it withal. Though it was an altogether different
matter that we found ways to sneak into the arms of it once or twice still. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">So as the bell would announce the commencement of lunch, I and my
dear friend would, with our march along with our humble tiffin’s, reach this
back side of the pool. An area out of bounds for the primary and the junior
school children, as given to us to understand. But like I said it were these
chaste infringements that are characteristic to the temperament of the likes of
children born with lesser ability to adapt to the conventional skills of social
interaction. So activities like these would perhaps be more fulfilling to the
otherwise unexpressed beings, awarding them with a dint of
courage at doing things others were not bold or perhaps creative enough to do.
All accomplished unintentionally…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Here we were calmly adjusted upon a wide wall that had adequate place
for us to spread our platters and ourselves upon it under the canopy of a love
showering tree densely drowned in the cool shady patch of a prolific out pour of
leaves, offering its affectionate muscular branches a secure entertainment for
us once we were done with our lunch. Though I only faintly recall that part,
the teen shade was on one side on top of which we could climb and walk, and the
other was this wall extending into this huge almost paternal tree further
followed by an almost steep downward slope awarding a brisk walk back into the
fields on one side and the school building on the other. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Back within no time, as that one generous hour of lunch break would fade
into memory of a few miserly moments, from whose treasure chest have I bartered
these nostalgic recollections sprinkled with a an urge to reach
out to touch it just one more time…Something so much a part of my being, so
thoroughly etched in the stone pillars of my regurgitable memory banks, yet so
far away as to never get one more chance to touch and feel them as real as they
were, once upon a time. ‘Time: the eternal illusion’ seems then, wisely expressed. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Bhoomika Jain</span></div>
<br />
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</div>
bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-28660549972346259852015-02-02T04:56:00.001-08:002015-02-02T09:05:11.251-08:00Drop your guards!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At one point it felt like<br />
she was left with no desire<br />
at preserving trust remnants..<br />
The world seemed too often<br />
overwhelmingly difficult to withstand...<br />
These ever mounting waves that<br />
looked and seemed friendly<br />
inviting her a splashing interaction<br />
had stuff like stinking jellyfish<br />
lurking in there...<br />
Smiles she greeted them with,<br />
progressively erased rudely...<br />
<br />
Cowering in the dark den<br />
wanting invisibility<br />
seemed like the only option left...<br />
<br />
Vigilance, all empowered vigilance<br />
towards one and all seemed like the<br />
only option...<br />
Though so difficult to be<br />
armed with such heavyweight artillery<br />
and shields all the time<br />
did she have an option<br />
she wondered...<br />
<br />
And came the reply 'NO'<br />
in emphatic capitals...<br />
NO...you cannot drop guards<br />
against anybody...<br />
And that includes<br />
yourself along...<br />
<br />
can you?<br />
Answer my dear!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-90350194542542411052012-07-18T04:40:00.001-07:002012-07-18T04:47:10.066-07:00What celebration...?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">"What are you waiting for !!! An invitation from the next door peacock !!</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Go out and celebrate your existence.."(-imploration from a well wisher)</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">I was impelled to inquire:of the ways to celebrate,</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">than to wait for the peacock next door...</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /></span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"></span><br />
<u><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></u><br />
<u><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></u><br />
<span style="color: white;"><u>Is Celebration</u>...</span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Being happy ...with what life has offered to you..?</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">is it trying to create ways to acquire,what you think will give you happiness?</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Is it in the process discovering the truth behind the conclusions of</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">assumed happiness?</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">The skepticism that one builds up over the worn out ways that have</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">created the illusion of it..</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">and have cheated man from time immemorial,</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">or the desire to strengthen the ability to withhold, when it again beguiles you</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">with the novelty of the exhausted; the tried and the tested ?..</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">The beaten track with something of the impact of the River Lethe..(1)</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">that casts a spell,and hypnotizes you into a Lotus Valley,(2)</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">prevents you from the fact of the passage of time...</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">"It always seems afternoon..."(3)</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">so captivating that it becomes impossible to see through it..</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Want for once to be filled with what feels like </span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">the ultimate toast to </span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">celebration</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">the spirit that finds no death,</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">hails from the land of permanence,.</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">joy born out of the perennial,</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">and then the intensity </span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">to the whirl of celebration</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">finds itself,</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">from where there is no looking back.</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">1. Classical allusion- (the Greek spirit of forgetfulness and</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">oblivion, with whom the river was often identified )</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">2. A place where the desire to escape from life could be delivered</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">through a state of euphoria induced by the consumption of the lotus</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">flowers.</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">3..An example of metaphor is when Tennyson tells us that in the land</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">of the Lotos eaters 'it always seemed afternoon'. Tennyson wants us to</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">think of afternoons as relaxed</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> times when nobody seems to be in a hurry (people hurry mainly in</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">the morning). So this is a metaphore afternoon :: 'me time'.</span></span>
</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-34380030487576824082012-07-03T22:28:00.001-07:002012-07-03T22:28:24.778-07:00Predictable unpredictability<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
The need to have them stay an arms length<br />
who disown you most unpredictably<br />
and whose unpredictability<br />
strangely becomes predictable<br />
and raises the call,<br />
intense call for wriggling oneself from the<br />
self created claustrophobic clasp.<br />
Stand erect and tall<br />
towering above those taller than you<br />
weighing stronger than those heavier than you.<br />
<br />
Oh,what a feeling of liberation<br />
LIBERATION !<br />
From those dry winds blowing scorchingly<br />
from the most arid deserts around<br />
Alternating with the frosty ones<br />
from the unrelenting icy lands.<br />
And here has been a fool who fails to do away<br />
with the uninhabitable habitats,<br />
for some stupid conditioning's sake.<br />
Offering one's precious devotions to the<br />
lifeless stones,mistakenly assumed to have<br />
life and warmth and love...<br />
<br />
may this being create a new avatar of herself<br />
and find that all new being<br />
be the snake woman shedding the<br />
old skin and creating the new from within.<br />
<br />
Shed in the process all glamorized image of her<br />
own self too ...can she afford to be dishonest ?<br />
</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-91575611074563762432012-07-03T22:13:00.001-07:002012-07-03T22:13:58.370-07:00Am i so important ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
i am so important !<br />
Am i really important ?<br />
Did ever feel significant ?<br />
I knew i needed to be around ,<br />
that, I was required.<br />
<br />
But ,had i really felt i was important ?<br />
I did !<br />
For once I did !<br />
It was my child whose love did it to me ...<br />
Whose need of my love n attention shook me into the feeliing<br />
<br />
And i felt i mattered ,<br />
my love to this lill being mattered<br />
the absence of which might shrivel her being<br />
And my existence acquired a whole new meaning<br />
in the light of the need and love of this loving lovely soul...<br />
</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-1588978118700183892012-07-03T22:08:00.001-07:002012-07-03T22:08:20.935-07:00Unknot this self !<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Has the ego drenched<br />
arrogance strutting peacockien fool<br />
not been ranting at something<br />
endlessly,and not moved an inch<br />
from where it cried its first call ?<br />
<br />
The musical out pours,<br />
the painterly and sculptorly catwalks,<br />
and finally the roving on the landscapes of paper sheets<br />
on the wheels of these pens and pencils-<br />
has it all led to any distance been covered ?<br />
Or has been just the rowing of the oars<br />
while the boat was still tied at the ignorant shore !<br />
<br />
Open oh Lord, I implore<br />
open the knots invisible to the blind eyes<br />
of the ranting fool..<br />
sprinkle just some more illumination<br />
to the path that leads to where heads the final<br />
destination.<br />
</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-328374395523927672012-07-03T22:06:00.001-07:002012-07-03T22:06:20.773-07:00Are we game ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Was it all for this ?<br />
Was it going to lead to something as unwanted as this?<br />
Was there a pretension to herself ?<br />
Or how else can such a being justify innocence ?<br />
<br />
Where else would it have led her to ?<br />
The path was evidently slippery.<br />
Yet the thrill of the slide was difficult to resist ..<br />
Even if the base of it was filled with a puddle of stinking mud ?<br />
<br />
Why, to begin with,had she justified it to be a stinking puddle ?<br />
Wasn't there some contamination of hypocrisy ?<br />
Rather ignorance...?<br />
For if she were to charge herself with it ,<br />
she was charging the whole of humanity with it.<br />
For so many of us ,rather most of us do fall<br />
a prey .<br />
<br />
Is it then a falling a prey to ones hypocrisy,<br />
or is it ,to our ignorance ?<br />
Ignorance born out of a refusal to open ones eyes<br />
when the danger is crystal clear;<br />
born out of blocking those ears when danger<br />
was screaming out loud.<br />
Just because the pleasure of that moment<br />
demanded that we refuse to pay heed.<br />
<br />
Oh ,my lord !<br />
Are we then meant to meet our doom<br />
crafted most pathetically with<br />
our own creative and artistic fingers ?<br />
<br />
Just because we have the numbers on our side,<br />
doesn't prove our being right .<br />
The concoction is deadly and poisonous,<br />
and we have it within our might to<br />
fling it aside ,<br />
if we chose to ,but calls for all the strength of purpose,<br />
The might of all fingers and toes put together...<br />
<br />
Are we then game ?<br />
</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-38601459861740225402012-07-03T21:53:00.001-07:002012-07-03T21:58:14.327-07:00the journey goes on...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">the journey goes on ..how much is deciphered ..from the familiar or unfamiliar</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">milestones covered..i wonder ...the desire to learn is there..but how</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">intense i wonder...</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">life has its clever ways of deluding one from the search to blocking</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">oneself against several road blocks.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">things and happenings shed amazing illuminating rays on truth,yet the</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">light disappears within no time..</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">how strange is that ? i wonder... and why is that i wonder...</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">just why and how can we let ourselves be deluded into the hazy zone</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">,once the direction of lights reveal itself ?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Just how can we render ourselves into such weaklings, who prepare to</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">fall again,the moment they learnt to raise ?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Running after the "golden dear" ,shan't it cease ? before the reserves</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">of energy and time run out ?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">will i become an adult before i finally turn old ?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;" /></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">want to sit with myself allowing deep dives within the depths of the</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">oceans hiding secrets within</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">want to intensely stay under the surface without giving in to the fear</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">of asphyxiation..</span></span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">shall we dear friend ?</span>
</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-25393014433253601492012-04-22T01:24:00.002-07:002012-04-22T01:24:47.279-07:00The Sour Grapes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The effervescence of the new peg just poured:<br /> Here for you :<br /><br /><br /> The wheat from the chaff,<br /> the separation is paramount.<br /> But the inquiries for that<br /> need gain momentum,<br /> gain intensity within.<br /><br /> The real want of this life ?<br /> Translating into the need for<br /> fame ,money , power on one hand<br /> visavis peace and truth on the other ?<br /> can the questions find bigger place<br /> within this conscious self on a day to day basis,<br /> and from there moment to moment...<br /><br /> Ah ! That is like a colossal destination,<br /> transforming the inquiry into<br /> absolute intensity that the entire universe<br /> is coerced into solving it for you<br /> devoting itself to work towards providing those answers<br /> for your looking up to something above, for them .<br /> trusting some source more than your limited being<br /> for the answers to questions bigger than you.<br /><br /> That couldn't have been a sour grapes story<br /> ranting itself under the garb of grandeur<br /> of the inquisition,the exploration ?</div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-64311244898963945592011-04-19T09:20:00.001-07:002011-04-19T09:20:51.046-07:00the new dawn<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--> <m:smallfrac m:val="off"> <m:dispdef> <m:lmargin m:val="0"> <m:rmargin m:val="0"> <m:defjc m:val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440"> <m:intlim m:val="subSup"> <m:narylim m:val="undOvr"> </m:narylim></m:intlim> </m:wrapindent><!--[endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Another new dawn…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>after days of dense clouds…</div><div class="MsoNormal">Storms…screeching winds…</div><div class="MsoNormal">But she was safe in the haven of the </div><div class="MsoNormal">Small seemingly frail cottage …</div><div class="MsoNormal">The cottage she never trusted ,as capable </div><div class="MsoNormal">Of taking care of her .</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There were times<span> </span>when she heedlessly left the safty of it </div><div class="MsoNormal">And endangered herself venturing outside .</div><div class="MsoNormal">Everytime she realized she would resolve allover again,not to leave the reigns within </div><div class="MsoNormal">And promise not to venture out .</div><div class="MsoNormal">But how many times her fear within wouldn’t let her hang on </div><div class="MsoNormal">And she would be a victim to anxiety driven actions<span> </span>of Escape.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Escapes into illusions of hope and security, from anything or anybody </div><div class="MsoNormal">Outside of herself seemingly capable of rescuing her .</div><div class="MsoNormal">But how? How could anybody or thing ever provide s ,shelter</div><div class="MsoNormal">When she was running ,from none other than herself ?</div><div class="MsoNormal">And the day she saw ,nothing could be held responsible for not lending a rescuing hand …</div><div class="MsoNormal">…was the day of a new dawn .The fresh morning that failed to threaten her with the fear</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>of culminating into another stormy night .</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">She saw ,that that seemingly frail cottage ,none other than her real self </div><div class="MsoNormal">Was far stronger ,than her supposition.</div><div class="MsoNormal">No more had she the need to cater to the tantrums of the silly child within,</div><div class="MsoNormal">which at some point refused to grow up, would always want her lollypop as her sop,</div><div class="MsoNormal">without which putting a hold on those howls was out of question .</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And gratitude to those who seemed cruel ?</div><div class="MsoNormal">Instrumental, weren’t they ,in the ripening of that consciousness?</div><div class="MsoNormal">Who seemed to wriggle their fingers free of her ,hands ever latching ?</div><div class="MsoNormal">And just when she thought there was no hope</div><div class="MsoNormal">Whoa…She emerges into her new avatar?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A being shielded strong ,to be ever<span> </span>bogged down by any of the ever bloating, monstrous illusions !</div><div class="MsoNormal">Ah ! They ultimately were discovered in their nude ?</div><div class="MsoNormal">In the light bright enough not to let any lies further remain unearthed<span> </span>…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span></div></div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-38697623701603262752011-04-19T09:17:00.000-07:002011-04-19T09:17:37.882-07:00what is it ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--> <m:smallfrac m:val="off"> <m:dispdef> <m:lmargin m:val="0"> <m:rmargin m:val="0"> <m:defjc m:val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440"> <m:intlim m:val="subSup"> <m:narylim m:val="undOvr"> </m:narylim></m:intlim> </m:wrapindent><!--[endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">What rends my heart to pieces?<br />
Do i know it?<br />
Or assume all knowledge?<br />
<br />
I seek an end to it.<br />
Direly.<br />
I seek escape <br />
I seek reasons at validating <br />
inadvertently prolonging that existence<br />
pumping more oxygen into a life worth erasing.<br />
<br />
Don't i see futility in its length, in its flow?<br />
That which jibes acquires might till my 'me' gets affected.<br />
Ain't I exposing them to infected air,<br />
Those seeming bruises? <br />
<br />
Calm acceptance, without bringing it into my domain of focus.<br />
Is that the key?<br />
It definitely is avoiding the desire to culminate it.<br />
<br />
Just sidestep the path to that yearning and see how the flower of peace starts unfolding its loving self <br />
through its petals offering beauty and love gradually and imperceptibly.<br />
<br />
And i find something that was strangulating me has suddenly been losing its grip.<br />
And i feel the passage of breath making its way back n forth , a faint heaving of the ribcage , up n down , revival of that pulse again.<br />
Revival of the very force of life!<br />
<br />
All, that came like a stormy gush, went past because something inside decided to stay put <br />
To take all the jerks and starts without offering resistance .<br />
<br />
As my head turns to look back, i see the trail of the monster who lost its power,<br />
right there as my eyes could confront it fearlessly .<br />
<br />
Won’t it come again? Asks the chicken inside?<br />
<br />
<br />
Lest i shiver at its re-visitation: Big or small it shall be faced .<br />
Oh beloved one... </span></div></div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-28468289099082174052011-03-06T03:04:00.001-08:002011-03-06T03:04:30.512-08:00the woman in the metro<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Woman In The Metro...<br />
This Metro arrival has been such a beautiful experience .It offers one a chance to connect with some wonderful people if one is lucky enough .I, for my share, have found myself quite fortunate till date. One such chance meeting with some one .... <br />
<br />
That gay abandon , resonant in that laughter full of freedom .Freedom that she found somewhere before ,or rather at the dawn of her life. .Freedom from the crutches of dependence .<br />
<br />
A life ,a journey ,having traversed ,a long distance ...indeed a distance covered was there in this life ,at least that was what ,caught the eye. From a young girl married at a tender age of 19 ,to still a young girl,with a grand daughter of the age of 17.Sounds rather strange ,but so befitting to a personality like that .Where at all did she let me feel that she had turned old, toiling hard ,and the grind of the long ,exhaustive journey (As is wont to get for most of us.)shown on the lines of that very innocent face.It was none of it there ! <br />
All that enveloped her was her powerful ,yet childlike infectious laughter ,and a deep assertive voice.( There i discover the answer to my prevailing confusion .What if the lady who charmed me into an image may be somebody entirely different from what met my eye ?By all means that could be possible ).While i kept pouring joy on myself ,for having discovered a beautiful story of acquired independence .It was that assertive element in her, (which is one end of the spectrum, the other end of which is dominance)which relieves her from the charges of being a stinking feminist. <br />
It is that which enables a being to leave room for creation.<br />
<br />
A woman exuding confidence , positivity ,under the seeming baggage of 'care a damn' attitude. She definitely wasn't one who wouldn't care.<br />
Having gone trough her share of being a dutiful bahu, with a foot long ghunghat(veil) for five initial years of her married life ,wife of a successful chartered accountant, with a successful innings,(sounded like the quintessential wife behind the success of her man. I wish society wasn't so kind to a woman in having bestowed upon her the halo of having the ability to be behind. )mother of three well settled sons ,and a' full of love' grand mom to her 17 year old ,whom she called her daughter .<br />
The entire whirlwind as she looks back having been left behind -having discovered her cherished solitude, which lay safely submerged like a seed waiting to sprout when it got its earth.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> The young lady has lovingly been provided for, with an accommodation all for herself ,by her children, away from her near n dear ones, away even from her husband. A husband who is helplessly stuck to his chair irretrievably, and who thus has been left free to carry on with his commerce, for as long as he wants to .I feel sad for him , not for the fact that he has been rendered cuckold ,because even that kind of togetherness hardly has a meaning .But for the fact that he couldn't discover anything more to his life beyond his work .That kind of work holism could well be sad escapism .<br />
<br />
Definitely not a divorce or even a separation ,as opposed to the conventional skepticism. I am still left wondering in answer to my own lack of surety here ,if it is really so bad to be enjoying,ones solitude .Hey i recall the opening lines of a television serial directed by Deepti Naval shown ages ago which went like "Ek dafa to apana jeevan mujhko khud hi bone do .Likh lene do apni kismat .Honahaijo hone do....<br />
If guilt hounds one even when one sets out to explore ones life at the fag end ,after having been through all </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">the responsibilities, then God save us .I raise a toast to that spirit of freedom -which failed to shackle her, not at all meaning to glorify walking out as the new woman's mantra of life .Rather letting oneself loose ,letting go off ...when holding on didn't mean anything through a whole long life .</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> She scoffs lovingly and lightheartedly in response to some body's query of living all alone by retorting ‘Sava lakh da khalsa.’....In punjabi (that Bhatinda di sikhini types )And lends another infectious gush of her ringing laughter ,least self conscious of herself attracting some attention towards her from the surrounding passengers in the Metro .She talks about how ,people living around her remain forever curious of who she is seen with ,where and when she is going and coming .I cannot help but grin at the recollection of how she came close to my ear ,flanked the lips from declaring to the fellow passengers ,how she manages to put a stopper to the irrepressible inquisitiveness of those snooty neighbors’ ,by her bombarding whisper "i will never tell you who i am sleeping with "<br />
<br />
The most beautiful thing to have brought back home from her was the fearlessness, and the non-conformist feel, not for any ego trip ,i want to declare it loud and clear ,as much as i understood ,rather for allowing fear to ebb away from ones life and in the process allowing solitude to reveal its beauty if not at dawn ,then at least at the dusk ,being an equally beautiful time . </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
The 'godhuli' having been so beautifully unravelled ,is an achievement unmatched .<br />
<br />
Thank you for having sustained with me till now. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-9749447795754714952010-10-24T04:15:00.000-07:002010-10-24T04:15:03.632-07:00THE UNINVITED<h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <br />
</h3><div class="post-header"> </div>The form, rather, the silhouette of a small girl wearing a lehnga chunni hopping frolickingly from the kitchen to my little daughters room and back and forth ,with her anklets providing the most audible rhythm to her happy hop,in the middle of the night .<br />
<br />
God knows what that shadow was up to .While I ,the mom,frozen with fear ,unable to move an inch out of that paralysed bed .Or had I helplessly got reduced to a selfish human ,whose primordial fear ,even overtook the maternal instinct in her ? In that ,that i didn't move out of that deplorable bed to go and check on the well being of my lill' one?!!All the while wanting to scream ,but probably too benumbed by the horror of the unwelcome visitation .<br />
<br />
<br />
After a couple of minutes of its movement to and fro ,it finally and most menacingly decided to allow its steps to flow towards my room .(While I ,as I faintly recall ,was up to, as if , hoodwinking the hobgoblin that i was as hard asleep as could be ,so it could carry on unhindered ,with its plans .The instinct of self preservation,screamed loudest ,in the process,proclaimed though ,with a guilt ridden tongue ).It came right behind my bed ,behind my head .That was it !By then my fear had reached it point of saturation ,to come out bursting in the irrepressible screams ,that happened breathlessly . But the trauma ,as i understand ,was far too much for me to go through .And ,the pain of not having been able to hear even one of those screams ,that had seemingly erupted full blast ,was what i scummed to .It remained all bottled up?Yes ,it did .There were actually no horror stricken screams at all !I still fail to understand it all ?<br />
<br />
I sat awake ,wide awake ,as if ,for the first time .Yes ! it actually was for the first time ,that i became conscious of the scenario around ,still not accepting ,that all that which had just occurred was a neat nightmare.To me i had seen all that ,with my eyes first opened to the soft sound of her anklets.How could i open my eyes all over again to realize that it was a vision that belonged to the canvass that the mind paints .And so adroit that it emerges as the finest of the fine creations!With that absolute "willing suspension of disbelief" achieved ,that it leaves you absolutely confounded with the intensity with which it hits you .<br />
<br />
I continued sitting frozen in my bed for a good fifteen minutes after the vision dissolved itself most mysteriously <br />
behind my bed .I could still not dare to step down ,to check on my daughter sleeping most innocently in the other room .<br />
<br />
While my simple friend ,in her kind innocence advised me the next morning,of the standard ways to ward off evil spirits ,I found myself left wondering at the ingenious ways of the human mind .And jokes apart ,as we might want to now laugh at the comedy of the so horrifying nightmare .<br />
But time to ruminate...Do we turn illusions into realities and our life into a journey of a series of escapes ?bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793278626557052620.post-75462435664427978752010-10-22T03:51:00.000-07:002010-10-22T03:51:45.800-07:00What a mouthful !!Those gleaming strings ...that intricacy ...that meticulous dexterity....that fatal WEB !<br />
<br />
Seemingly an ordinary commonplace presence of the sort of conglomeration .But as the sight caught hold of the view ,the footsteps halted with a start.<br />
<br />
There in the middle of that amazing weaving lay a lethal spider with a fat<br />
abdomen ,declaring loud, its gluttonous capacity,its sumptuous appetite and the generosity with which nature was at its disposal. <br />
The web bouncing with the jerks that our hero administered to its prey ,in its voracious jabs that it allowed itself in consuming it .<br />
While another spider ,a compatriot standing no chance ,for its tiny size ,yet awaiting to snatch an opportunity to get some chunks by hook or crook .<br />
<br />
As our eyes roved through this interesting territoriality ,they caught sight of a mini meal<br />
packed neatly ,on one far end of the web ,in advance ,for the ever voracious<br />
owner of the kingdom .<br />
<br />
Right then ,landed another ,innocent little black stinkbug ,out of the blue ,least expecting to be prepared into a packed meal instantly ,meant for consumption at a later hour .Just two sticky strings of the web ,had done the job for our mighty one ,progressing towards its hapless prey menacingly .Those two mere strings that had it handcuffed ,had proclaimed its portentous fate ,loud enough ,that all its struggle was to come to an end .As our all equipped master wouldn't spare an iota of hope ,for the slightest movement of its limbs possible.And within two to three seconds ,the job was accomplished .<br />
<br />
While i met with a strong urge ,to save the life of the hapless one,something within prevented me from doing it .I realised it wouldn't have meant much within the bigger picture: Who after all was i in the scheme of the whole cosmic dance of life and death,to lend a hand ,which would more have been that of interference rather than help.!bhoomika jainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13307242249973366646noreply@blogger.com0