what is it ?

What rends my heart to pieces?
Do i know it?
Or assume all knowledge?

I seek an end to it.
Direly.
I seek escape
I seek reasons at validating
inadvertently prolonging that existence
pumping more oxygen into a life worth erasing.

Don't i see futility in its length, in its flow?
That which jibes acquires might till my 'me' gets affected.
Ain't I exposing them to infected air,
Those seeming bruises?

Calm acceptance, without bringing it into my domain of focus.
Is that the key?
It definitely is avoiding the desire to culminate it.

Just sidestep the path to that yearning and see how the flower of peace starts unfolding its loving self
through its petals offering beauty and love gradually and imperceptibly.

And i find something that was strangulating me has suddenly been losing its grip.
And i feel the passage of breath making its way back n forth , a faint heaving of the ribcage , up n down , revival of that pulse again.
Revival of the very force of life!

All, that came like a stormy gush, went past because something inside decided to stay put
To take all the jerks and starts without offering resistance .

As my head turns to look back, i see the trail of the monster who lost its power,
right there as my eyes could confront it fearlessly .

Won’t it come again? Asks the chicken inside?


Lest i shiver at its re-visitation: Big or small it shall be faced .
Oh beloved one...