Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the new dawn

Another new dawn…
 after days of dense clouds…
Storms…screeching winds…
But she was safe in the haven of the
Small seemingly frail cottage …
The cottage she never trusted ,as capable
Of taking care of her .

There were times  when she heedlessly left the safty of it
And endangered herself venturing outside .
Everytime she realized she would resolve allover again,not to leave the reigns within
And promise not to venture out .
But how many times her fear within wouldn’t let her hang on
And she would be a victim to anxiety driven actions  of Escape.

Escapes into illusions of hope and security, from anything or anybody
Outside of herself seemingly capable of rescuing her .
But how? How could anybody or thing ever provide s ,shelter
When she was running ,from none other than herself ?
And the day she saw ,nothing could be held responsible for not lending a rescuing hand …
…was the day of a new dawn .The fresh morning that failed to threaten her with the fear
 of culminating into another stormy night .

She saw ,that that seemingly frail cottage ,none other than her real self
Was far stronger ,than her supposition.
No more had she the need to cater to the tantrums of the silly child within,
which at some point refused to grow up, would always want her lollypop as her sop,
without which putting a hold on those howls was out of question .

And gratitude to those who seemed cruel ?
Instrumental, weren’t they ,in the ripening of that consciousness?
Who seemed to wriggle their fingers free of her ,hands ever latching ?
And just when she thought there was no hope
Whoa…She emerges into her new avatar?

A being shielded strong ,to be ever  bogged down by any of the ever bloating, monstrous illusions !
Ah ! They ultimately were discovered in their nude ?
In the light bright enough not to let any lies further remain unearthed 

what is it ?

What rends my heart to pieces?
Do i know it?
Or assume all knowledge?

I seek an end to it.
I seek escape
I seek reasons at validating
inadvertently prolonging that existence
pumping more oxygen into a life worth erasing.

Don't i see futility in its length, in its flow?
That which jibes acquires might till my 'me' gets affected.
Ain't I exposing them to infected air,
Those seeming bruises?

Calm acceptance, without bringing it into my domain of focus.
Is that the key?
It definitely is avoiding the desire to culminate it.

Just sidestep the path to that yearning and see how the flower of peace starts unfolding its loving self
through its petals offering beauty and love gradually and imperceptibly.

And i find something that was strangulating me has suddenly been losing its grip.
And i feel the passage of breath making its way back n forth , a faint heaving of the ribcage , up n down , revival of that pulse again.
Revival of the very force of life!

All, that came like a stormy gush, went past because something inside decided to stay put
To take all the jerks and starts without offering resistance .

As my head turns to look back, i see the trail of the monster who lost its power,
right there as my eyes could confront it fearlessly .

Won’t it come again? Asks the chicken inside?

Lest i shiver at its re-visitation: Big or small it shall be faced .
Oh beloved one...